It's just like Earnhardt's, if ol' Ironhead raced a V-6 front-driver.
By STEVEN COLE SMITH

Because General Motors is single-mindedly remaking itself into a Modern Company, it subscribes to the accepted MBA philosophy that every effort must be defined by a "mission statement."

This is the mission statement for the brand team that developed the 2000 Chevrolet Monte Carlo: "For young-minded, image-conscious, outer-directed individuals who enjoy spirited driving, Monte Carlo is the personal sport coupe that exemplifies 'classy with a wild streak' and transforms driving into an uplifting experience."

Now begins the mental checklist. Am I "young-minded"? Sure. "Image-conscious"? Um, I guess. "Outer-directed"? I have no idea what that means. But I certainly enjoy "spirited driving" and "uplifting experiences," although "classy with a wild streak" sounds like the first line of a scary singles ad.

So, while the 2000 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS left some of the C/D staff stone cold, I see the appeal. It's the distinctive, if wide-rumped, styling; a driver-friendly interior; an entirely adequate powertrain; a decent rear seat and roomy trunk for a coupe. It's a pleasant if undistinguished package that is considerably improved in several areas over the 1999 version—just fine for us young-minded, outer-directed types.

A little history: Although Chevy may not make a big deal out of it, this is the 30th anniversary of the Monte Carlo, which was introduced in September 1969 as a 1970 model. That Monte Carlo, bolstered by the availability of an SS model for 1970 and '71 with a stiffer suspension and bigger tires and wheels, sold a healthy 130,657 copies that first model year, some 80,000 more than did its chief American rival, the Ford Thunderbird.

After that, the Monte Carlo's size and fortunes rose and fell according to how the auto industry was doing. It became a bread-and-butter big car for Chevy in 1973, and in 1978, it was downsized by a foot and 800 pounds when the manufacturers were telling America that big cars were bad and that a 105-hp V-6 was better than those guzzling V-8s. In 1983, the SS model returned to the Monte lineup with a 180-hp, 5.0-liter V-8. By 1989, the Monte Carlo was gone, replaced by the Lumina. The Monte Carlo returned in 1995, as a two-door version of the Lumina with front-wheel drive and a V-6.

For 2000, the Monte Carlo is a new car, built on the same platform as the Impala and with the same powertrain choices: a 60-degree, 180-hp, 3.4-liter V-6 for the LS model, and the 90-degree, 200-hp, 3.8-liter V-6 for the SS. We've driven the LS and are here to tell you it has "fleet car" written all over it. That 3.4-liter engine is cobbier than the 3.8, and although the LS suspension is softer, the ride is only marginally better than that of the SS. We are prepared to say the giddy mission statement does not cover the LS. (Some would suggest it doesn't cover the SS, but we're certain it doesn't apply to the LS.)

That said, the SS tries hard to look and feel the part. Both models have four-wheel disc brakes with anti-lock control and 16-inch P225/60 radials, but the rubber on the SS is more aggressive—Goodyear Eagle RS-As on five-spoke alloy wheels. The suspensions are essentially the same—struts and coil springs front and rear—but the SS suspension is slightly stiffer. Traction control is standard on the SS, unavailable on the LS.

Mostly, though, the SS gets you the better and bigger of the two pushrod V-6s. The 3.4 gets slightly better highway mileage (32 mpg vs. 29), but both are EPA-rated at 20 mpg in the city. Both use the same M15 four-speed automatic transaxle. (Note that this 3.4-liter V-6 is the pushrod minivan motor, not the discontinued 24-valve, 3.4-liter DOHC V-6 last used in the 1997 Monte Carlo Z34.)

The 3.8-liter V-6 is hardly cutting edge—with a cast-iron block and heads, two valves per cylinder—but it has long since proven itself to be solid, pleasantly torquey, and nearly bulletproof.

Certainly, it contributes to some startling consistency in Monte Carlo performance. In September 1995, we tested a multivalve Monte Carlo Z34 and got a 0-to-60-mph time of 7.9 seconds and a quarter-mile time of 16.1 seconds. In March 1998, a '98 Monte Carlo Z34 with the 3.8-liter engine turned in a 7.9-second 0-to-60 time and a 16.1-second quarter-mile.

And the new 2000 Monte Carlo SS—you guessed it—took 7.9 seconds to get to 60 mph and 16.1 seconds to complete the quarter-mile. Those numbers were achieved with little fanfare, as were the acceptable 194-foot braking distance from 70 mph and the skidpad performance of 0.77 g. The stiffened chassis benefits from the innovative aluminum engine cradle shared with the Impala that helps the Monte Carlo weigh in at 3432 pounds, about 150 pounds lighter than the 1998 Monte Carlo we tested.

When driven hard into a corner, the SS responds with typically benign GM front-drive understeer. Those Goodyear Eagle radials work well in most conditions but hydroplane slightly at 70 mph on rain-covered roads.

Inside, the SS was lacking a few desirable attributes. The front buckets are okay for local commutes, but we did a quick 1600-mile round trip to Road Atlanta in 36 hours, and about four hours into the trip we were wishing for more lumbar support and a bit more lateral support. Stronger complaints were generated by the uncomfortable seatbelt, which is routed through a crude plastic loop attached to the seat, precluding any sort of height adjustment. The Monte Carlo belts are the first we've complained about this loudly in months.

Otherwise, all is well. The stereo and cruise controls mounted on the steering wheel are excellent. Interesting is the compact AM/FM-stereo with cassette and CD players; the radio is RDS-capable (radio data system), which uses encrypted signals from participating FM stations to allow scanning by subject—for news, pop, rock, country, etc. During our trip, we found a relatively small percentage of radio stations that send out the necessary signal, but it's growing.

In all, the Monte Carlo SS is a pleasant package that should appeal to the target customers: 55 percent of buyers will be male; average age, 43; 52 percent are college grads; and median household income is $60,000.

But does it match that ambitious mission statement? That's for "young-minded, image-conscious, outer-directed individuals" to determine. But we're willing to speculate that buyers of Toyota Camry Solara or Honda Accord two-doors won't give the similarly priced Monte Carlo (figure $19,500 to $23,000) much attention. Lifelong GM fans, and those among us who believe NASCAR Winston Cup Monte Carlos have anything at all in common with civilian cars, likely will.

THE VERDICT

Highs: Distinctive restyling, nice cockpit, workhorse 3.8-liter power, surprisingly roomy rear seat, competent ride and handling.

Lows: Fat-ass rear seems to polarize people, front seats taxing on a long trip, grabby seatbelts, generic GM aura.

The Verdict: Competent big coupe will please Chevy loyalists but won't attract many conquest sales from import fans.

COUNTERPOINT

I fail to see a coalescent theme here. The nose and headlight treatment is space-age futuristic, and the hind end is strangely reminiscent of an El Camino's. The Monte Carlo's design is a "mixture," which, in case you dozed off in high-school chemistry, means its components retain their own properties and can be separated—they're not chemically combined, as in a "compound." Or as in, say, a car such as the SS of the mid-'80s. "As heavy-class performance cars go," our Pat Bedard said of that vehicle, "this is the real thing." Well, long gone are the wide tires, the rear-wheel drive, and the four-barrel V-8. Sadly, the real thing is long gone, too.
—Cora Weber

I can live with vehicles that inspire love or hate, but this Monte Carlo's rear end is, uh, ungainly. Buyers who prefer two doors give up four-door practicality in return for a stylish body and a handsome exterior. So now I'm wondering who's going to pony up for this new Monte. If anyone does mosey down to the Chevy store for a test drive, he or she will find a refined, smooth, and polished automobile. If he's looking for something sporting, he won't find it. The Monte rolls around too much for me, and although many GM cars now have excellent brakes, the Monte's faded after severe use. This Monte Carlo has numerous features for the dollar, but who cares when it almost hurts to look at it?
—Larry Webster

As a child, I was admonished to say nothing if it couldn't be something nice, so here goes: I like the radio, and it's easy to drive the Monte Carlo in the dark. Which is when I chose to drive it. Everyone I spoke to during my 72 hours with this car hated its bloated and overwrought shape. Its disparate elements seem to have been penned and clinicked by different studios. It's best viewed from the bottom, looking at all the well-engineered drivetrain and suspension bits. It doesn't matter how well it drives (darned nicely), I can't look at it—especially knowing how striking the original Monte Carlo was. Lumina, Malibu, Impala, and now this. Hey, Chevy, never mind outsourcing the parts, it's time to farm out your styling!
—Frank Markus

Vehicle type: front-engine, front-wheel-drive, 5-passenger, 2-door sedan

Estimated price as tested: $24,500

Major standard accessories: power steering, windows, and locks; A/C; cruise control; tilting steering wheel; rear defroster

Sound system: Delco AM/FM-stereo radio/cassette/ CD player, 4 speakers

ENGINE
Type..........V-6, iron block and heads
Bore x stroke..........3.80 x 3.40 in, 96.5 x 86.4mm
Displacement..........231 cu in, 3791cc
Compression ratio..........9.4:1
Engine-control system..........GM with port fuel injection
Emissions controls..........3-way catalytic converter, feedback air-fuel-ratio control, EGR
Valve gear..........pushrods, 2 valves per cylinder, hydraulic lifters
Power (SAE net)..........200 bhp @ 5200 rpm
Torque (SAE net)..........225 lb-ft @ 4000 rpm
Redline..........6000 rpm

DRIVETRAIN
Transmission..........4-speed automatic with lockup torque converter
Final-drive ratio..........3.29:1
Gear Ratio..........Mph/1000 rpm.......... Max. test speed
I..........2.92..........8.0..........48 mph (6000 rpm)
II..........1.56..........14.9..........89 mph (6000 rpm)
III..........1.00..........23.2..........121 mph (5200 rpm)
IV..........0.70..........33.2..........121 mph (3650 rpm)

DIMENSIONS AND CAPACITIES
Wheelbase..........110.5 in
Track, F/R..........62.1/61.2 in
Length..........197.9 in
Width..........72.7 in
Height..........55.2 in
Ground clearance..........6.5 in
Curb weight..........3432 lb
Weight distribution, F/R..........63.3/36.7%
Fuel capacity..........17.0 gal
Oil capacity..........4.5 qt
Water capacity..........11.7 qt

CHASSIS/BODY
Type..........unit construction with rubber-isolated powertrain cradle
Body material..........welded steel stampings

INTERIOR
SAE volume, front seat..........55 cu ft
rear seat..........44 cu ft
luggage space..........16 cu ft
Front seats..........bucket
Seat adjustments..........fore and aft, seatback angle, front height, rear height, lumbar support
Restraint systems, front..........manual 3-point belts, driver and
passenger airbags
rear..........manual 3-point belts, center lap belt
General comfort..........poor fair GOOD excellent
Fore-and-aft support..........poor fair GOOD excellent
Lateral support..........POOR fair good excellent

SUSPENSION
F:..........ind, strut located by a control arm, coil springs, anti-roll bar
R:..........ind, strut located by 1 trailing link and 2 lateral links, coil springs, anti-roll bar

STEERING
Type..........rack-and-pinion, power-assisted
Turns lock-to-lock..........2.4
Turning circle curb-to-curb..........38.0 ft

BRAKES
F:..........11.9 x 1.3-in vented disc
R:..........10.9 x 0.4-in disc
Power assist..........vacuum with anti-lock control

WHEELS AND TIRES
Wheel size..........6.5 x 16 in
Wheel type..........cast aluminum
Tires..........Goodyear Eagle RS-A, P225/60HR-16
Test inflation pressures, F/R..........30/30 psi

C/D TEST RESULTS

ACCELERATION..........Seconds
Zero to 30 mph..........2.6
40 mph..........3.9
50 mph..........5.7
60 mph..........7.9
70 mph..........10.3
80 mph..........13.1
90 mph..........17.4
100 mph..........22.5
110 mph..........33.3
Street start, 5-60 mph..........8.2
Top-gear acceleration, 30-50 mph..........3.6
50-70 mph..........5.1
Standing 1/4-mile..........16.1 sec @ 87 mph
Top speed (governor limited)..........121 mph

BRAKING
70-0 mph @ impending lockup..........194 ft
Fade..........none light MODERATE heavy

HANDLING
Roadholding, 300-ft-dia skidpad..........0.77 g
Understeer..........MINIMAL moderate excessive

FUEL ECONOMY
EPA city driving..........20 mpg
EPA highway driving..........29 mpg
C/D-observed fuel economy..........25 mpg

INTERIOR SOUND LEVEL
Idle..........47 dBA
Full-throttle acceleration..........78 dBA
70-mph cruising..........75 dBA
70-mph coasting..........74 dBA